Tour Troubles Read online

  ‘Here we are,’ shouted the driver, steering the bus off the straight motorway and around the bendy road to the service station. We all swayed. I glanced over at Doodle, who was now very green, and shuffled back inside my basket as fast as I could. Any minute now, she was going to blow and I didn’t want to be caught in the crossfire.

  ‘Oh, well done, Doody-Woody,’ Miranda said, unfastening Doodle’s harness as we stopped. She wrapped her arms around the dog in a big cuddle. ‘We’ll soon have you feeling much bet—’

  There was a revolting retching sound from Doodle. Miranda let out a horrified wail and I clasped a paw to my nose as the smell of sick wafted through the bus. Slowly, Miranda stood up. A blob of half chewed carrot plopped from her hair and on to her shoes.

  ‘Urgh,’ said EE, wrinkling his nose in disgust when he saw Miranda. ‘Guess who won’t be in the owner’s lounge for the rest of the journey?’

  Miranda tugged a wretched-looking Doodle towards the door. ‘That suits me fine. I’ve never met a more boring bunch anyway.’

  The two of them swept down the steps and off the bus. For a moment no one spoke, then EE turned to Susie. ‘Do you know, it couldn’t happen to a nicer couple.’

  And for once, I actually agreed with him.

  I don’t mind admitting that I’ve got expensive tastes. So, when the tour bus pulled up outside our hotel in Glasgow, I was keen to see what kind of luxury Gloria had in store for us. And I wasn’t disappointed. Judging from the glittering lights around the gold entrance, the classy red carpet and the smartly dressed doorman, the Landmark Hotel was the poshest of the posh.

  ‘Wow!’ Susie said, her nose pushed up against the window of the bus. ‘It’s like something out of a movie.’

  She wasn’t wrong. The Landmark was clearly where all the stars came to stay, because huddled outside was a row of photographers, cameras in hand as they waited patiently to snap any visiting celebrities. As Susie clipped on my glittery black and silver harness and lead, I shook out my gorgeous grey fur and straightened up my whiskers. I was determined to look my best for the paparazzi. If it was a star they were looking for, they’d come to the right place.

  From the moment we stepped off the bus, the cameras were flashing in our direction.

  ‘Look, it’s Harriet Houdini!’ one called, clicking away furiously.

  ‘Over ere, Stunt Bunny!’ another shouted as he elbowed the photographer beside him out of the way.

  ‘Give us a backflip!’ a third cried, throwing himself on to the floor to get the best shot.

  Susie and I turned towards them and I twitched my nose in the cutest possible way while they snapped away. EE hung around behind us, desperate to get into the pictures, but the photographers kept moving to cut him out.

  ‘Oi!’ one yelled, when EE gave up hovering in the background and thrust his grinning face up to mine. ‘Do you mind? It’s Harriet’s mug shot we want, not yours.’

  Then, Gloria appeared beside us. ‘That’s enough for now, gentlemen,’ she said, ushering us towards the brightly lit revolving doors and waving a wagging finger at the photographers. ‘If you want to see more of the sensational Stunt Bunny, you’ll have to buy a ticket for tomorrow night’s show!’

  Grumbling, the paparazzi turned their cameras expectantly towards the bus, waiting for the next passenger to emerge from the narrow doorway. When Doodle and Miranda appeared, there was an excited burst of flashing lights. But, after the incident on the bus, neither of them was exactly looking their best. Doodle’s fur was flat and her eyes were dull. Miranda looked even worse and she held up one hand in front of her face.

  Gloria hurried towards them and looked them up and down, before leaning closer. ‘I wonder if you’d be better off using the entrance at the back of the hotel?’ she murmured. ‘We don’t want any unflattering pictures of Doodle in the newspapers, now, do we?’

  With a sulky scowl, Miranda led Doodle away. Seconds later, the paparazzi were snapping away at Cherry and Lulu. I almost felt bad for Doodle. Then I remembered how she and Miranda had tried to stop me from getting to the Superpets Search for a Superstar semi-final and, suddenly, I didn’t feel so sorry for her anymore.

  Once we were all off the bus Gloria gathered us all together beside the grand staircase in the centre of the hotel lobby.

  ‘Welcome to the Landmark Hotel, your home for the next two nights,’ she said, as her assistant checked a clipboard and handed out room keys. ‘In the morning, we’ll explain exactly what will happen on the tour. But tonight, feel free to enjoy everything this five star hotel has to offer.’

  Sam’s eyes were as big as Frisbees as he stared at the staircase. ‘Imagine sliding down that.’

  It looked like fun, but my attention was fixed on Gloria as she described the deluxe Jacuzzi and the rooftop terrace bar, where the rich and famous came to party. I pictured me and Susie making friends with pop pin-ups and movie stars. This was it, I realised, once Gloria had finished talking and a bell-boy was showing us to our room. This was what they called the Big Time!

  I don’t know what happened when we got to our room. One minute I was backflipping from one bouncy double bed to another and accidentally knocking over EE’s signed photo of Gloria. The next, I was fast asleep and dreaming about meeting up with Mickey and Minnie Mouse in the hotel bar and before I knew it, the sun was peeping through the curtains and Susie was shaking me awake.

  ‘Time to rise and shine, Harriet,’ she said, smiling down at me as she clipped me into my harness and attached the lead. ‘You’ve got a big day ahead of you.’

  EE frowned. ‘Are you sure she can’t escape from that? It doesn’t look very tight.’

  ‘She’ll be fine, Dad. Harriet’s a good girl these days, aren’t you, Harriet?’

  EE didn’t look convinced, but then he caught sight of his watch. ‘We’d better get a move on or we’ll miss breakfast.’ He rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. ‘I’m really looking forward to it.’

  When the waitress arrived at our table with the food, I understood exactly why EE had been so eager to get down to the dining room. His plate was piled high with bacon, egg, sausages and beans and there was a glistening slice of fried bread on the side.

  Susie shook her head, eyeing the bulge of his tummy under his shirt.

  ‘You’re supposed to be on a diet, Dad. Mum will be cross when she finds out you haven’t stuck to it.’

  EE tucked his napkin into his shirt and licked his lips. ‘There’s something you need to learn, Susie.’ He paused to wave his fork at her. ‘What happens on tour, stays on tour.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ Susie asked, with a puzzled look on her face, but I had a sneaky feeling I knew what he was getting at. Basically, he meant no telling tales about the tour once we were back at home.

  EE pushed a forkful of food into his mouth. ‘It means that diets are off the menu,’ he said, his voice muffled by bacon and beans. Then he swallowed and tapped the side of his nose in a secretive way. ‘It means you keep mum to – er – Mum.’

  While they carried on chatting, I looked around at the other guests. Over by the fresh fruit was an actress from a soap opera. I nibbled my carrot thoughtfully, should I wriggle out of my harness and pop over for a friendly chat? After my triumphant entrance the night before maybe I could give her some tips on wowing the paparazzi.

  I looked at EE and Susie, they weren’t paying me the slightest bit of attention. Very carefully, I shuffled around in my seat, working the harness and lead over my shoulders. With another quick glance up to make sure no one was looking, I shook the harness off and hopped on to the floor.

  Nose twitching, I set off towards the actress. From the smell of things, she was having apples and pears, my two favourite fruits. With a bit of luck she might be in the mood to share.

  I was so busy drooling that I didn’t pay much attention to where I was hopping. So I didn’t see a waiter weaving towards me with a silver tray loaded with plates of all kinds of breakfast food.
I might not even have noticed that I was next to Miranda and Doodle’s table, if Doodle hadn’t spotted me and lunged, her teeth bared in a threatening growl. I leaped sideways and her fangs missed my fur by centimetres.

  The waiter wasn’t so lucky. As Doodle turned her head for another snap, her mouth crunched on the poor man’s leg. ‘Ouch!’ he yelped and threw his arms up in the air.

  Doodle let go of his leg and looked innocently around. The tray spun, sending the plates somersaulting in one direction and the food in another. We all gazed upwards as, with a loud crash, the plates clattered into each other and fell to the floor. A second later, the food landed too, but not on the rich red carpet. Instead, eggs and bacon splattered wetly on to the glossy head of the actress.

  She let out a disgusted shriek. Holding his leg, the waiter yelled at Doodle. Miranda shouted at the waiter. Another waiter rushed over and began to pluck bits of egg out of the actress’s hair. In the midst of all the excitement, everyone seemed to have forgotten about me. Deciding it probably wasn’t the best time to speak to the actress after all, I hot-footed it back to my table, where EE and Susie were craning their necks to see what the fuss was about.

  ‘What’s going on?’ EE said, peering across the dining room.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Susie replied. ‘Something about a rabbit, I think.’

  As one, they both turned to stare at my chair. I gazed back at them, nibbling at my carrot as though I’d been there the whole time.

  ‘You don’t think—’ EE began, with a suspicious look on his face.

  Susie shook her head crossly. ‘Honestly, Dad, you can’t blame Harriet for everything. She hasn’t moved from her seat!’

  EE studied me for a moment, then blinked and shrugged. ‘I suppose you’re right. Now, how about a bowl of cornflakes?’

  I kept my head down during the briefing and spent most of it snuggled on Susie’s lap, ignoring the evil looks that Miranda and Doodle were sending my way. Gloria did a lot of talking about where we had to be and when. EE stared at her like she was telling the most exciting story ever, nodding his head and clapping louder than anyone else at the end.

  ‘Gery vood, Gloria,’ he babbled, as she walked past us on the way out.

  She flashed him a puzzled smile, then glanced down at me and Susie. ‘All set for the dress rehearsal this afternoon, Harriet? I hope you’ve got some extra-special moves planned.’

  I stood up on my back legs and waved my paws eagerly. I had lots of ideas for ways to wow the audience. Maybe you couldn’t teach old dogs new tricks but Stunt Bunnies learned fast!

  The dress rehearsal went like a dream. Lulu the chimp hula-hooped like a tornado and the terrapins tumbled like never before. Even Doodle sounded almost in tune on the big stadium stage. Gloria seemed especially pleased with me.

  ‘Simply marvellous, Harriet,’ she said, beaming down at me. ‘The crowd is going to go wild when they see your act.’

  As Gloria walked away, Miranda glowered at us. She seemed to be in a very bad mood and refused to eat lunch with the rest of the owners.

  ‘The chef has prepared a special meal for Doodle in her dressing room,’ she announced, wrinkling her nose at the food laid out for everyone else. ‘Singers have to watch what they eat. The tiniest crumb can affect their voices and she is the star of the show, after all.’

  Wrapping a pink fluffy dressing gown around the poodle, Miranda whisked her away.

  ‘Spike-tacular doesn’t get special meals in their dressing room,’ Sam said, glancing over at his hedgehogs chomping on vegetables in their cages. ‘They don’t even have a dressing room!’

  The other owners grumbled in agreement.

  ‘Doodle probably needs one so that no one has to hear her warm up,’ EE joked.

  Sam grinned. ‘Maybe that’s why Miranda is so cross. She should buy herself some earplugs.’

  Everyone laughed except me. The problem was that Miranda thought Doodle was the best thing since sliced bread. She thought her poodle was the cat’s whiskers, which only made me more determined to give one hundred and ten percent later. I’d show her who the star of Superpets Live really was!

  It was almost the end of the first show and Doodle had warbled her last wobbly note. As I hopped into the centre of the stage, an expectant hush descended over the crowd. I shook my sequinned suit and flicked my grey ears back and forth. This was it; the moment I loved the most. So they wanted to see Stunt Bunny, did they? Wait until they got a load of my latest tricks!

  I started with a simple backflip, one kick of my powerful back legs sending me soaring into the air. Below me were four trampolines. I aimed for the one furthest away from me and hit it squarely in the middle. The audience gasped as I hurtled upwards and through a sparkling hoop high above the stage. This time I landed on and spun towards another hoop hanging above the stage. Soon, I was bouncing between the trampolines and flying through the hoops, my sparkling costume making me look like a twinkling shooting star. The audience was whooping with delight.

  After one final triple backflip, I landed on all fours on the stage, my ears quivering straight up in the air like an Olympic gymnast. The crowd erupted into thunderous cheers and some of them even got to their feet. Graciously, I tipped my head towards them.

  ‘Way to go, Harriet,’ Susie said, as I came off stage. She lifted me up and planted a big kiss on my velvety nose. ‘You’re definitely the star of the show!’

  The next morning, we packed our bags and took the lift downstairs. The hotel lobby was busy with guests checking out. Susie and I picked our way through the piles of luggage to the waiting tour bus. EE puffed and panted behind us, loaded with my basket and bags.

  ‘I thought there’d be people to carry this stuff for us,’ he muttered under his breath as we joined the other pets and owners.

  If EE thought I had a lot of luggage, he should see how much Doodle travelled with. Had I really just seen a set of hair curlers poking out of one of her cases?

  Suddenly, a roadie appeared beside us. His lime-green baseball cap was pulled low over his bright red hair, hiding his face. ‘Can I ’elp you, Signor Wilson?’

  ‘Ah, excellent! You can take these, for a start,’ EE said and he held the bags out to the roadie.

  The man’s eyes slid towards me. ‘Of course. But first I take ze rabbit.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ EE said, lowering the bags in confusion. ‘Take her where?’

  ‘Zere ees a special car waiting for ze star of ze show,’ the roadie said. ‘She ees a VIP, no?’

  I pictured a stretch limousine with carrot juice chilling inside and a ‘BUNNY 1’ number plate on the outside. It sounded great, but something was nagging at me – where had I heard that voice before? I twitched my nose, thinking hard. Maybe he worked at the Superpets studio.

  EE tried to peer under the brim of the hat. ‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’

  The roadie lowered his head. ‘I don’t zeenk so, Signor Wilson.’

  Frowning, EE tapped his cheek with one finger. ‘I’m sure I’ve seen you before.’ Then he shrugged and pointed at my basket. ‘Never mind. In you go, Harriet.’

  I hopped inside. EE hardly had time to fumble with the door clips before the roadie was swinging my basket into the air.

  ‘See you soon, Harriet,’ Susie called, disappearing on to the bus.

  But, instead of heading towards a waiting limo, I found myself going back into the hotel lobby. I stared at the bus in confusion. Where exactly was this special car parked?

  Miranda and Doodle passed us on their way to the bus. ‘Have fun being a VIP,’ Miranda cooed, wiggling her fingers at me. ‘Missing you already!’

  Miranda didn’t seem at all surprised that I wasn’t on the bus. And suddenly I started to panic, where on earth was the roadie taking me?

  The roadie strode through the lobby and into the crowded lift, just as the doors slid shut. Suddenly, I didn’t believe I was heading for VIP treatment anymore. I was being bunny-napped!

 
; ‘Top floor, pleeze,’ I heard the roadie say and the lift flew upwards. Ding! The bell chimed as we passed the first floor. Whiskers twitching anxiously, I hoped one of the other passengers needed to get out soon. If the lift went all the way to the top of the hotel, I stood no chance of catching the tour bus before it left.

  I was in luck. On the third floor, the lift slowed down and the doors opened. The crowd shuffled to let the passengers out. Now was my chance! I nudged the door of my basket with my nose, hoping EE’s clumsy fingers hadn’t fastened the clips properly. Yes! The bottom of the door gave way and, quicker than you could say crinkly cabbage’, I wriggled out of the basket, leaping towards the inviting blue carpet.

  ‘Oi!’ yelled the roadie, grabbing at my powder puff tail. He was too late. The lift doors were closing and once my paws made contact with the floor I was off, scampering towards the stairs, and freedom. But, when I reached them, I skidded to a halt. There were a lot of stairs and I didn’t have much time. What I needed was a super speedy way of getting to the bottom.

  Then I remembered what Sam had said about sliding down the stairs when we’d arrived at the hotel. It was perfect for a Stunt Bunny like me – I’d be on the ground floor in no time!

  I jumped up on to the banister and ears flat, I crouched low and whizzed round the corkscrew curves. As the hotel lobby zoomed into sight, I looked up. The tour bus was still there! With a giant thrust, I pushed off the banister with my back feet, flying through the air into the lobby.