Rabbit Racer Read online

  Madame Belladonna let out a loud squawking laugh, which set the guinea pigs off giggling too. ‘Zere are no chickens ’ere? Zat ees why I do not find ze eggs. Seelly me!’ And throwing a final beady-eyed look my way from behind her goggles, she tottered back up the garden and disappeared into her house.

  EE and Mrs Wilson watched her go, confused looks on their faces.

  ‘You know, I think she might be a little bit loopy,’ EE said, shaking his head in pity.

  ‘She’s certainly got unusual dress sense,” Mrs Wilson agreed. ‘Maybe she’s just misunderstood. It might help if we got to know her better.’

  EE looked doubtful. ‘I don’t see how. But I suppose I could get her a ticket for the Superpets Summer Special. When she finds out she’s living next door to some VIPs, she might get a bit star-struck and behave herself.’

  Well, if that wasn’t just like EE, basking in the spotlight of my talent! I snuggled up to Susie and hoped he’d forget about that ridiculous idea. What with Salt and Pepper one side and Madame Belladonna the other, things were getting crazy in the Wilson house, and I didn’t really want our nutty neighbour turning up at the Superpets studio. The way things were shaping up, it was the only place I could go for a bit of peace and quiet.

  There are two types of star on Superpets: those who understand how lucky they are to be part of the show, and the ones who think no one would watch if it wasn’t for them. I’m in the first group. I love the smell of the make-up and the roar of the audience and can’t wait to get out there and entertain people. But as you might guess, Doodle isn’t. She thinks she’s the bee’s knees and Miranda agrees with her. The list of demands they made when we were on tour was amazing and changed all the time.

  ‘Doodle needs fresh spring water from the Welsh mountains and a cashmere rug in her dressing room,’ Miranda declared, as we waited backstage on Saturday for the rehearsal to start. ‘She can’t be expected to hit the high notes if she’s forced to drink common tap water and lie on a dirty rug.’

  Gloria gave a brisk smile and winked at me and Susie on her way past. ‘I expect Doodle will need even more luxuries for her new trick, won’t she, Miranda?’

  Miranda and Doodle stared at each other. ‘Oh – er – of course!’ Miranda trilled. ‘She’s been working terribly hard.’

  Tim nudged EE. ‘I bet a talented bunny like Harriet has a long list of things she needs to pull off her amazing stunts.’

  EE chewed on the chocolate bar he’d picked up at the snack machine and looked down at me. ‘She’s watching her weight. An organic carrot before she goes on stage, and that’s about it.’

  I wiggled my ears in outrage; me, watching my weight? If anyone needed to go on a diet around here, it was EE. His tummy was getting so big he could hardly see his toes.

  Tim nodded. ‘Taz is the same. He’s an athlete.’

  Taz let out a hungry miaow and eyed EE’s chocolate bar.

  ‘In fact,’ Tim went on, ignoring the cat, ‘I think there might be a touch of cheetah in his ancestry. He’s always been fast and I’m sure he has a few black spots in amongst his tabby stripes.’

  We all peered at Taz’s sleek coat and he blinked in embarrassment at his owner’s boasting. I twitched my nose in sympathy. What can I say? Being famous isn’t always fun.

  ‘Look, Dad, Harriet and Taz are becoming friends,’ Susie said, when she saw us looking at each other.

  ‘Not for long,’ a voice behind me mumbled. Peering through the bars of my travel basket, I saw Miranda and Doodle smirking in my direction. I knew they were up to no good, but what were they planning?

  ‘That cherry pie they’re serving in the canteen is simply delicious,’ Miranda said in a loud voice. ‘Shame they were about to run out.’

  EE pricked up his ears. ‘Cherry pie, you say?’ He looked at Tim. ‘I don’t know about you, but I could do with a little something to eat. All this exercise makes me peckish.’

  Tim hesitated. “Shouldn’t we stay with the pets?”

  Glancing around, EE shook his head. ‘They’ll be OK for a few minutes.’

  Susie poked a finger into her dad’s belly. ‘Mum says you’re not supposed to have cakes. She says if you get any fatter, you won’t fit into your clothes.’

  EE wiped the last crumbs of chocolate from around his mouth. ‘No one said anything about cake. It’s pie we’re going to have. Come on, Tim, let’s get down there before it’s too late.’

  Tim reached down to tickle Taz behind the ears. ‘Back in a minute, Puss.’

  Susie watched their retreating backs for a moment, then wagged a finger in front of my basket. ‘Wait here, Harriet. I better keep an eye on him.’ She followed EE and Tim and her voice faded into the distance. ‘I’m going to tell Mum about this . . .’

  And then we were on our own. Behind us, I could practically feel Miranda grinning.

  ‘Poor Harriet, all locked away,’ I heard her say. ‘Wouldn’t you like to stretch your legs?’

  She reached down and unclipped the locks on my basket. The door swung open. Suspiciously, I poked my velvet nose out. Miranda wasn’t known for her kind deeds. Why was she letting me out?

  I glanced over at Taz. Miranda was undoing the leather straps on his basket and tugging the door open for him as well. But Taz was new to Superpets and a lot more trusting than me. Purring gratefully, he padded out of the basket and stretched.

  ‘Would you like a snack, Harriet?’ Miranda asked, waving a delicious-smelling carrot in front of me.

  I couldn’t help it; I hopped towards it, my mouth watering at the thought of sinking my teeth into its orangey goodness.

  ‘Now, Doodle!’ Miranda cried and everything seemed to happen at once. Doodle let out a low growl and lunged towards Taz. With a terrified yowl, Taz sprang up in the air. I looked up to see him descending towards me, claws flashing in the lights. Thoughts of the tasty carrot flew out of my head. If I didn’t get out of the way, I’d be in bunny bits before I could blink!

  I didn’t fancy being a bunny pincushion, so quicker than you could say ‘cutting claws’ I jumped out of the way. Taz landed exactly where I’d been seconds before. Doodle snarled at the cat again and snapped her teeth at his tabby tail. Confused, Taz sped towards me and I knew if I didn’t move, there’d be a bumper bump. So I did the only thing I could. I ran.

  We raced through the backstage area towards the studio stage, Doodle chasing Taz and Taz chasing me. The make-up lady dropped her powder puff, the cameraman leaped out of the way and Gloria looked flabbergasted as we flashed past. And before I knew what was happening we were on Taz’s obstacle course!

  ‘Harriet!’ I heard Susie screech, but I didn’t stop. Even though part of me knew that Taz wouldn’t really hurt me, it felt like the call of the wild had taken over. My rabbit ancestors were screaming at me to run from their ancient enemy, the cat.

  Obstacles loomed in front of me. Without thinking, I somersaulted over the first jump and tore through the long cloth tunnel. Behind me, I heard a cheer and guessed Taz had cleared the jump too. Then I was on to the weaving poles. They quivered as I hopped madly from side to side.

  Once I was through, I set my sights on the balancing bar up ahead. It wasn’t until I heard the laughter that I slowed down and risked a glance over my shoulder.

  Taz was skidding to a halt too. Straight away, I saw the reason for the laughter. Doodle had tried to follow us through the tunnel.

  She must have realised far too late that her body was too big to fit through the plastic entrance and she was stuck with the tunnel flopping around her head like an elephant’s trunk. It waggled from side to side as she tried to free herself and she let out a frightened whimper.

  Miranda rushed on to the stage to free her. ‘My poor Doody-Woody,’ she squealed, pulling the tunnel off Doodle’s face and staring into the dog’s confused eyes anxiously. ‘What have those nasty animals done to you?’

  Taz and I exchanged looks. What had we done to Doodle? Surely it was more a case of what
the poodle had done to us?

  Gloria bustled forward. ‘Really, Miranda, you must learn to control that dog better. Or is Doodle in training to become a circus clown?’

  A sulky pout crossed Miranda’s face. ‘Taz tried to scratch Doodle,’ she said. ‘I saw it with my own eyes. He should be thrown off the show.’

  EE and Tim rushed over with Susie. She flung her arms around me in a big hug.

  ‘Thrown off the show?’ Tim repeated, rubbing Taz’s ears and gazing around in bemusement. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘We were only gone a few minutes,’ EE said, wiping what looked like cherry sauce from his chin. He eyed me in disbelief. ‘That basket is supposed to be practically escape-proof. How did you get out this time, Harriet?’

  ‘Come to think of it, how did Taz escape from his?’ Tim wondered. ‘I’m sure I locked him in.’

  Everyone turned to look at Miranda.

  ‘It wasn’t anything to do with me,’ she declared, folding her arms and glaring around. ‘My poor Doodle is the victim here. Look, she’s shaking.’

  Doodle blinked and began to shiver. But Gloria was staring at the obstacle course, a thoughtful expression on her face. ‘This gives me an idea,’ she said, tapping her lips with her finger. ‘Harriet and Taz were super speedy. What if we put them head to head in a race, for the Summer Special?’

  I thought about that. Racing over the obstacles had been fun, but was I faster than Taz? Casting a quick glance sideways, I wondered what he thought of the idea. His eyes gleamed and he swished his tail.

  ‘Taz is up for it if Harriet is,’ Tim said, looking enthusiastic. ‘Kitty versus Bunny sounds good to me.’

  Gloria smiled. ‘And what about Harriet?’ she asked, glancing between EE and Susie.

  EE blushed, the way he always did when Gloria spoke to him. ‘Nyurgh,’ he mumbled. ‘Whatever you say, G-G-Gloria.’

  Susie looked at me and I waved my paws to let her know I was raring to race. ‘I think that means she can’t wait.’

  ‘It looks as though you’ve found your new talent,’ Gloria said, winking at me. ‘From now on, you’ll be Harriet Houdini – Rabbit Racer.’

  I thumped the floor in excitement. Win or lose, this race was going to be FUN! And maybe I’d find a way to throw in some of my new tricks to make sure my place on Superpets was safe.

  Susie didn’t waste any time once we got back home from the studio. Armed with a stopwatch and a clipboard, she put me straight into training. Round and round the garden I raced, while Susie marked down the times and Smudge watched with a ‘glad-it’s-not-me’ look on his face. I even got to use EE’s beloved runner beans as weaving poles and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. The thunderous look on his face as the poles shuddered and shook was a picture.

  ‘Careful!’ he bellowed, as the young beans wobbled on their stalks above my head. ‘They’re not ready to be picked yet.’

  They looked juicy enough to me, so it wouldn’t be a bad thing if a few fell off while I was training . . . Next I hurtled through Susie’s hula hoop and scooted up the bottom of Lily’s plastic yellow slide. As I raced through the skipping-rope finish line, Susie clicked the stopwatch and peered at the clipboard. ‘That’s great, Harriet. I’m sure you’ll be faster than Taz.’

  Salt and Pepper sat side by side in their hutch, watching me with bright, black eyes. I shook out my tail and hopped back to the start of the course. Susie might be confident I could win, but I wasn’t so sure. Taz had been racing since he was a fluffy little kitten. He was a proper agility cat. If I wanted to beat him, I’d have to smash my best time and I didn’t mind practising until my paws hurt to make that happen.

  Susie didn’t agree. ‘That’s enough for one day,’ she said firmly, lifting me up and carrying me towards my hutch. ‘It will be dark soon and you need a good night’s sleep.’

  Huh, I thought, there was no chance of that. Salt and Pepper were party animals who thought sleep was for wimps. I’d lost count of how many times their noise had woken me from my dreams of Hollywood film premieres and gigantic crunchy carrots. Pet-sitting was hard work and I couldn’t wait until the Greens got back from their holiday. I needed a rest!

  I was snuggled up in the hay of my hutch when the first clatter woke me up. At first, I thought it was Salt and Pepper misbehaving, but then I heard a muffled moan and I frowned. That wasn’t the gormless giggle of a guinea pig, it was more like the stifled yelp of someone stubbing their toe, and it sounded nearby. Instantly, I was wide awake and hopping to the door of my hutch for a better look.

  The trouble was, I couldn’t see a thing. It was dark and, in spite of all the carrots I ate, I couldn’t make out much in the moonlit garden. Then my eyes began to adjust and I saw two pairs of eyes glittering opposite me: Salt and Pepper. They too were crouched at the front of their hutch, noses pressed against the wire of the door. For once they were completely silent.

  Suddenly, a movement caught my eye. Over by the fence, someone was coming our way. The only person I could think of who would wander around people’s gardens in the middle of the night was a burglar, and that wasn’t a cheery thought at all. The Wilsons would be tucked up in bed, fast asleep by now. Who was going to stop the shadowy figure from breaking into their house?

  There was only one thing for it: I’d have to try and raise as much of a ruckus as possible. Hoping Salt and Pepper would get the idea and join in, I lifted up my back legs and fired them as hard as I could at the wall of my hutch. They connected with the wood with an enormous thud, which boomed across the still night air like cannon fire. The guinea pigs meeped in shock and the figure leaped high into the air with a surprised shriek.

  But a strange thing happened when the figure landed. Instead of hitting the floor and running away, like I expected, the burglar seemed to struggle to keep their balance. In fact, they began to career across the garden, waving their arms in the air and colliding with Mrs Wilson’s washing, a big, white sheet wrapping itself around their head.

  In a flash, I realised what had happened; Susie must have forgotten to put her roller skates away after playing with them today and the burglar’s feet had found them! Wrapping my ears around my head, I waited for the crash. It came seconds later. I peered out of my hutch.

  Above the fence to Mr and Mrs Green’s garden, a pair of upside-down legs waved in the moonlight and the sound of grunts and groans filled the air. The window over the kitchen flew open and EE’s grumpy voice rang out.

  ‘What’s going on out there?’

  The legs froze. Then, with a final loud grunt, they disappeared into the Greens’ garden. I heard a crashing noise and a howl of pain as the sheet-coated burglar bumped into Mrs Green’s hanging baskets. After that everything went quiet. EE closed the bedroom window and the guinea pigs and I listened for signs that the burglar was coming back. There were none. I started to breathe more slowly. Whoever it was seemed to have gone.

  Salt and Pepper celebrated the only way they knew how: noisily. Within seconds, EE had flung open the window again.

  ‘Will you animals be quiet down there? Some of us are trying to get some sleep!’

  He had a cheek – how many times had Mrs Wilson moaned that his snoring was keeping her awake? Salt and Pepper must have thought the same because they ignored him completely, continuing with their inane chattering. Then a brilliant idea hit me. I rooted around in my hay for the carrot tops from my supper. With a bit of careful wriggling and nibbling, they’d make a perfect pair of ear plugs. I doubted they’d work for Mrs Wilson, but they were good enough for me. Let the guinea pigs party the night away. I’d be catching up on my beauty sleep!

  It had been a few days since we’d seen anything of our other neighbour, Madame Belladonna. EE joked that maybe she’d gone chasing chickens, but I thought I’d caught a glimpse of goggle-covered eyes watching me over the fence as I’d raced around the garden. There was something very odd about her and I didn’t just mean those crazy clothes. Even Mrs Wilson admitted to being
curious.

  ‘There’s no Mr Belladonna, is there?’ she asked as the family tucked into their dinner and I chomped on a carrot nearby. ‘Only I’m sure I saw a man’s face at the window when I knocked on her door this morning to ask if she wanted to come to Superpets with us. I wonder who it could have been?’

  ‘I haven’t seen any men going in there,’ EE said. ‘But we don’t know much about her. Maybe she has a son?’

  ‘Pretty Polly, Pretty Polly,’ Lily chirped.

  Mrs Wilson frowned. ‘No, Lily, it was definitely a man. I think he might have had a moustache.’

  ‘Perhaps we should get him a ticket, too,’ EE said, rubbing his chin.

  ‘Madame Belladonna said she can’t come to the Summer Special,’ Mrs Wilson replied. ‘In fact, she went a bit strange when I mentioned it.’

  EE smiled. ‘Stranger than usual, you mean?’

  Nodding, Mrs Wilson said, ‘Yes, she let out this high-pitched squawking laugh and said “I ’ope to be far, far away by zen.”’ She shrugged. ‘She must be going on holiday. Maybe the man is looking after the house while she’s away.’

  I didn’t know who the mystery man was or where Madame Belladonna was going, but it made me even more curious about our funny neighbour. As soon as my big Superpets race was over, I planned to do a bit of investigating in next-door’s garden.

  EE was turning into an army sergeant about my training. No matter how fast I zoomed around our homemade obstacle course, he wasn’t happy.

  ‘You can do better than that, Harriet!’ he bellowed, eyebrows beetling together over the top of the stopwatch. ‘We need to shave five seconds off that time or Taz is going to stamp all over you. They don’t call him the Tabby Tornado for nothing!’